Passing by

Today I learned that my cousin passed away. He was nineteen. It still has not completely sunk in yet. I feel numb. Its this sort of feeling where you don't even want to feel anything and everything seems pointless. He was way too young. They say that life is short, and when your time comes you should not question it...that its Gods plan.  I don't think it was in his plan to leave a family grieving. I don't know, I feel like I am at a loss for words. Life is funny, its funny how you can be with someone one day and their gone the next. Its saddening to think he still had his whole life ahead of him. He could have done so much but I guess God had other plans. \

This is the second death in the family this year after my grandmother passed last month. I think there is something wrong with me as I did not shed tears for my grandmother. I think that might have been because she had lived her life, as she was eighty-five, and in a way you saw it coming. she was elderly so at the back of your mind you know that she would not be with us much longer. But this...this was completely unexpected. I felt as if I would cry when I first heard but I didn't. I would not allow myself to. I feel I should mourn to get the needed closure. This is the first person, close to my own age, that I have known personally pass away.

I suppose I will cry eventually, as I do and will miss him. He was a great person to talk to and be around. I don't think I can even explain how much I will miss him.

This blog post is dedicated to you. I want you to know that you will be greatly missed by us all. You may have left us physically but you will be in our hearts. I will miss your funny jokes and your quirky ways. I'll miss your sense of humor, how you could always make me laugh. I still cant believe that your gone. Until we meet again...

R.I.P