3 am...

Yes I have been overwhelmed with a bout of insomnia. The lack of sleep attributed to who knows what. And I am now using this opportunity to finally blog. ( yay!) SMH...I still need to figure out how this whole thing (blogging) works as I still have no idea how to follow other bloggers. Bleh...

It is a new year and God knows I have tried every year to keep my resolutions. Seeing as this year I have none, that wont be much of a challenge. I find that new years resolutions are not the best way to usher in change as change needs to be gradual. It happens over time. Its not a situation where you think "oh its a new year so as of today, January 1st, I'm totally going to change a certain habit which I've had for years". Speaking of change, I feel like one phase of my life has ended. That's four years of uni done. Finally I get to be a graduate. Which is exciting yet daunting all at once. Excited at the prospect of finally entering the work force, I must say I will miss the student carefree days. I'll miss the books as well as studying even though during the four years of study there were nights I felt like burning my books. 

Its all about change and i'm seeing everyone around me grow up, graduate, get married and oh yeah have kids. I always thought I was totally okay with it all, but sometimes I feel like I want more change in my own life. There are honestly times I feel so bored with my life and the events in it. I really wanted this year to be different in so many ways. It seems as if I'v been stuck in one place. I mean that figuratively. That i know makes no sense since that's not the case but it feels that way. I guess that's because the years that passed were not what I had expected them to be. 

Anyhow, I am trying to have a positive outlook on the the year ahead and hopefully it will be more eventful than the last.  I may have no resolutions for 2013 but I definitely have a mantra, which is to have a positive outlook and try to see everything in a positive light. I mean life is what we make it right. The perfect year for me would be, dating the guy I obsess over and getting a position for my internship close to home. That would be perfect, but since life never gives you "perfect" I am psychologically prepared for whatever comes my way. whatever that may be. What I do know is that I will focus all my effort on working through the year to get this internship done and applying for uni the following year.Its so important to me to study next year. I want the away from home experience which I missed out on. Not only that but I really want to travel. I want to explore, and exploit the fact that I'm young and can still get away with so much. 

And that is a wrap up of what I want for the year I guess. The year has barely stared and I feel like its dragging. bleh, I need to get more proactive and stop being so damn lazy. My worst enemy by far. I really need to sleep...