Happy

I realized today that there are different levels of happiness and the older you get the more intense it is.
When your young you would be happy about passing your math test or finding the last pair of jeans in your size. These small things,  they still exist and we all have our small moments of happiness but then there are the big things.  These would include finding your life partner among other things. These also include having a baby and watching your children grow up. The major things. Usually it works both ways. Almost as if it's an equation that always needs to be balanced. Life is centered around balance.  This meaning the level of sadness is increased aswell. This is an emotion nobody wants intensified.  When everything goes wrong,  it goes terribly wrong. But when your happy, you pay no attention to what could go wrong sometimes. We forget how vulnerable we really are. That what is there won't always be there, the people we love won't always be there to support us. That thought alone is pretty disheartening.  We all know nothing lasts forever but as humans we try by all means to ignore this fact. That's why I think you should embrace every moment of happiness.  Whether it's something small or major. Revel in it for it may not last long. This is the main aim in life, to be happy. So take a moment and soak it all in. No matter how insignificant it may seem.

Grudges, Sanity and Resentment.

It's interesting how they say one should not hold  grudge.s Let it go...let it be.
And I thought it was easy...to simply let go. No anger....no hard feelings.  But it honestly takes a lot to actually completely let something go and just be
.
Firstly there is so much anger. So much of it, you don’t know what to do with. If only one could give it out, distribute it amongst friends or family...so that it's less intense. Because I have quickly learned, if you don't do anything to relieve yourself of all that anger it will consume you. Make you bitter and ofcourse you only end up hurting yourself. Nobody else.  Hence the saying "anger is similiar to taking poison and expecting the other person to die."

I'm not sure what to do. Trying to let it go but I am angry. So mad. I need an outlet for my anger. Otherwise I feel I will go insane. It's something that will take time...but with time it will pass. Life will go on. But I will let it go. I have to. It's definitely not worth being consumed over. Not for anyone.

Secondly, hurt. Too hurt to forgive and move on. It takes a very strong person to whole heartedly forgive someone who has hurt them. To forgive is to be the bigger person. The better person. It retains your sanity because I feel like I'm losing my mind. Slowly but surely.